And it all came crumbling down...

Two years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. Today I am in the worst shape I have been in for over two decades. Why? I ask myself this on a daily basis. The answer isn't simple...

The journey of my health has been a winding one, as is the case with so many. My road is not that unique, or interesting, for that matter. I gained weight. I lost it. I gained again. Lost it...you get the picture. My past was littered with emotional trauma that I chose to deal with by binge eating and also drinking. On a daily basis, I wasn't unhappy-I had (and still have) a beautiful daughter and supportive husband. I simply chose to treat my guilt and emotions with substances instead of dealing with them head on.

For the sake of simplicity, I will start my story six years ago. This is by no means a linear narrative, thought, so I hope you'll forgive me if I jump around. Anyway...six years ago I fulfilled one of my goals and became a public school teacher in a traditional brick and mortar school. Teaching was a second career for me, but a lifelong passion. I graduated with honors, and was hired right out of school. This being a second career, I was no naive young thing-I had my eyes wide open and knew that teaching would be challenging, exhausting, and worthwhile. To this day I still believe that.

I began my career teaching "littles"-those primary students who suck the life out of you on a daily basis, but also fill you with so much joy that you don't know whether to cry or laugh out loud. I learned so much during that first year: how to actually teach someone to read, how to balance my personal and professional life, how demanding the administration can be, and how much teachers like to drink. I made the best friends of my life that year. Only other teachers can truly understand what it takes to show up and be a halfway decent teacher on a daily basis. But, those friends liked to drink. They still do. And I had no problem joining them. I discovered my love of micro-brews that school year.

Fortunately, being a newbie kept me busy enough that I didn't drink that often. Once or twice a week. My time was sucked up with lesson plans, family responsibilities, and (for the time being) exercising. I took my role model status seriously. I knew that my students-not to mention my daughter-looked to me to be a positive influence in their lives. I had entered education a little overweight, but grew healthy through food choices and activity. I even convinced some of my new peers to take workout classes with me in addition to getting together for those adult beverages. Unfortunately, this balance of habits was going to soon tip...